Cindy Novotny

Don’t Jump to Conclusions So Quickly


Not a day goes by where you don’t ‘assume’ something.  We know what ‘assume’ really means.  You pass a stranger on the street and assume they are not very nice, you sit down on a plane next to a businessman who you think must be a terrible boss based on his attitude.  

We all make assumptions and those assumptions can set you up for failure, especially in your close relationships. Most people feel that everyone should think and act like them.  Don’t fool yourself – if you are reading this and thinking, I never assume anything, I will challenge you.  

You can’t solve everyone’s problems with your solutions.  Those solutions may have worked for you, but they may not work for your husband, wife, partner, sister, brother, friend or colleague. We assume the people we value most will make good on their promises, be available in a crisis, and generally support us no matter what. But this is not always the case.  They may not always act as we ‘think’ they should, but that doesn’t mean they are not great people.  You never know what is going on in their lives.  Never assume anything.

You have to love unconditionally and learn to appreciate everyone as they are.  Recently, I was seated in a club lounge and while talking with one couple from Australia, another woman looked at me with an ‘unfriendly’ look.  I immediately assumed she was put off from our chatting, laughing and enjoying the club.  She was reading a book, so I just assumed we were bothering her and she wasn’t that friendly. I was again ‘assuming.’  

After I stopped chatting with the Australian couple, she leaned over and said, ‘oh I was very interested in your conversation about xyz and didn’t want to interrupt you.’  She was so nice and so engaging and after we spoke for a while, I felt so bad for originally assuming she was rude.   

We live in such a complex world of misunderstandings - even with people we are close to.  Just imagine how many issues effect new relationships.  Don't overlook opportunities to communicate gratitude and appreciation with everyone. It is how we take care of our relationships, keep them strong and healthy and it is how grow new relationships in the future.